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Mission Montreal Mad driving and ''Putinize The Fries please''

"Excuse me miss, may I have some frys?. And could you Putinize the Fries please" waitress: "pardon" "Laughter breaks out" sheepish Australian looks nervously around the laughing table. Waitress: "say that again". Ausralian,"never mind".Waitress, you mean you would like Poutine! Australian, "yes" (more laughter erupts) On a normal trip to Montreal things just get out of hand. You have two hours with a car load of people who have A.D.D., Mad head Dancing syndrom and basic control issues in their lives to begin with. Add to the mix poor Sign-age, mad frenchy's and horribly ditirorating roads and the formula makes for an epic paddling adventure worthy of Boater talk.


We hooked up with long time paddler and Atlan manager Gavin Smith for 2 days of stupid driving and great waves. Following someone in Montreal is nuts. The signs for the turn off are at the turn off themselves and mandatory 4 lane changes in hideous traffic is a regular occorance. Thats even if you are following some who knows where they are going.


We Make it to the 67 wave, breathing heavy from the last round of Ja-Rule completely surrounded by the remanatas of EXPO 67 the old world fair. Beside the Wave is this crazy apartment building that has its own jungle. Theres monkeys an stuff inside and the people who live there are rich. Like Bill Gates rich. We hope the fence into the garage and people are giving us the evil eye from the tennis courts. We stomp on by to see Robert Faubert, (www.holeriders.com) madly clicking away. On the water Anna Leveque, #2(Andrew Holcombe, The Shumanizer, and Javid Grubbs are all on the wave.


The wave was great, big fast and just a blast. Tiffany I have to say was on playing field all her own. Stomping, helix's, donkey flips and air blunts. After not placing to her potential at the worlds she has been on a mission to lay down the law and bring womans boating to the next level. Just recently Necky kayaks sponsored an all girls kayaking video and Tiffer joined up with Anna Levesque to bring the world "Water Girls". A new kayaking video for women.

We were all sitting in the eddy and this monster dead Catfish was swirling around in the eddy. When ever it swirled by I would pet the thing with my index finger and chase whom ever was close to me out of the eddy with my finger. I asked Anthony Yap, a young film maker and Australian punk to help me get the fish on the bow of my boat. He scoops it up and plunks it down on my cockpit. (little Rat) On the second it hit the deck the guts split open and the contents spilled all over the place. 9 people all start gagging. I held my breath and started chasing a truly horrified Tanya Shuman out of the eddy. About 8 strokes into the pursute I have to breath. Holding a gag reflex is tough work while chasing someone around. The once eddy thick with boaters all were exiting everywhere like ducks from a pen. It took the better part of an hour to get the stench out of the deck and I am seriously concidering ordering a new one.

We are home on the Ottawa river until the 17th. I fly to BC for a month long trip with Jock Bradley so keep your eyes out from more stuff in the future.
Harris on a MIssion

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